Reply to Stop it with 'gaslighting' and 'borderline'

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]

Pp with the borderline mil here.   Borderlines are extremely resistant to seeing someone for diagnosis, let alone treatment.  [b]Family members who've been subjected to maltreatment by a borderline person for years are capable of recognizing the disorder. [/b] I don't need MIL to see a professional to know she has this personality disorder.  I don't care if you think the term is overused - the disorder is recognizable.   I'm not sure why you take that so personally. [/quote]

Exactly.  Every so often I encounter a story about a crazy relative and I immediately recognize it.  It's very recognizable.  I don't think anyone here is claiming that they are capable of making a DSM diagnosis or offering therapy.  It's just a very recognizable thing once you've been in the maw.  People who are really pissed about it are probably projecting ... [/quote]

Totally agree with you.  I don't have to be a licensed professional to recognize when a family member is suffering from depression.  Similarly, I don't have to get a medical degree to recognize that mil exhibits a pattern of behaviour that matches someone with borderilne personality disorder.  I'm not qualified to treat either case, but I can see what is happening.  BPD is an extreme situation, happens for years and years and years, in multiple relationships over a person's lifetime.

Again, I don't care if a fellow DCUM-er doesn't believe me.  It's been very helpful to realize that this is what is happening, and understanding MIL in light of the disorder makes her behaviour make much more sense.  I actually feel some sympathy for the pain she must be dealing with.  Her mother was apparently a very difficult woman, who probably suffered a great deal herself in her childhood.  MIL kept things together pretty well when her kids were young, which is probably why DH and his brother are the great guys they are, but things went off the rails again as they hit later elementary age, and have only gone downhill since.   I'm just glad that the pattern stops with this generation, and this pain won't be suffered on our children.[/quote]

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