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[quote=Anonymous]SIL was doomed. OP would have found reason to resent her no matter what.
It's widely recommended that one coping mechanism for women experiencing infertility is to avoid situation that would really trigger strong emotional reactions. It's why many women send a gift, but choose not to attend a baby shower, for example. They don't want to sit there looking miserable, and bringing all that negative feeling to the party.
I can't think of a worse situation to put a woman dealing with infertility than IN THE HOSPITAL HOLDING A NEW INFANT. 
I bet SIL would have preferred not to go. 
I also bet OP would have instead been on this forum complaining about how awful her SIL for not visiting her at the hospital. What a "rejection" it was. I'm sure enormous pressure was put on SIL that she should be there. So she tries to go, but in the end it's too much. I can tell you now that even after the successful birth of my children, I still remember vividly the pain of infertility, and there is no way I would have been able to keep in together in this kind of situation.[/quote]

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