Reply to SIL mean to my child

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]So, if a parent just lost their 4 year old to cancer, they are being mean by trying to attend your 4 year old's birthday party, but having to leave because they are overcome by emotion?

For some women, the mourning and grief associated with infertility is THAT deep and that real. They are faced every day with media and family messages about how they are incomplete for being barren. They get told that they should be happy to be an aunt, even when it might feel to them like the hardest stab to the heart. They watch friends and family have "oops" babies and the heartbreaking stories on the news where children are killed or left to die because they're unwanted. They get made to feel guilty because all these little celebrations in life kick them where they're sorest. And half the time, they have to do it quietly because we STILL can't accept as a society that this is real, raw, actual grief. We tell them to buck up and move on, because hey - they get to be an aunt or whatever, and look at what else they have.

OP, not everyone has the same degree of tolerance or resilience for hardships in their lives. It sounds as though your SIL really tried, by coming to see the baby at all, especially while news of her own fertility was fresh and raw. [/quote]

This is crazy. Experiencing infertility is in no way equal to having a child die. At all. [/quote]

Why? Because you say so? Because the child isn't "real" enough for you? Many infertile couples have experienced repeated losses and miscarriages. I guess they don't count? [/quote]

NP, I've experienced miscarriage and motherhood.  To me, there is NO way a miscarriage is equivalent to the death of a child.  It was devastating in its way but if my child died it would absolutely kill me.  I can emotionally survive miscarriages.  The death of a child would be soul crushing.  
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