Reply to Anyone grow up with a sibling that was the "favorite"?

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Reply to "Anyone grow up with a sibling that was the "favorite"?"

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[quote=Anonymous]OP, nothing will fix the damage that the mother is doing to both kids, but you can be a warm, loving, affirming presence in the unfavored one's life. Any adult love and positive recognition helps.

My mother was abusive and begrudging to me, and doted on my brother. My brother and I loved each other, and left to ourselves, would get along fine and be pretty mellow, but she pitted us against each other constantly, and we fought as kids because of that. He carried a lot of guilt and anxiety into adulthood from the way she treated us so differently. I grew up feeling something must be terribly wrong with me if my own mother didn't like me. After all, she adored my brother, so it must be something about me.

Not surprisingly, my husband has a similar mother who treated him even worse. We both have distanced ourselves from the mothers and work hard on trying to mother ourselves. It's a really crappy handicap to put on a person, to have a mother who treats you that way. I would have been better off with no mother.[/quote]

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