Reply to is this odd? first time grandparents not spending much time with baby

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I agree with the difference between daughter and son's children. Grandmas seem way more relaxed and involved with their daughters kids. They could be giving your brother's family space.

That being said, I find their reaction cold. I am a woman and have been surprised by my mom (that I love dearly and have a great relationship with) reaction to her grandkids. She is better with my children compared to my brother's kids but still she is so "busy" and unwilling to spend much time playing. [b]She pretends she wants to see them but seems bored so quickly. The only thing that makes her more involved is that my father is so good with his grandkids that she gets Jealous and competitive because they all love him more. So she is finally spending more time playing with them.[/b]

We tried to discuss it with her (because she was also playing the victim "your kids don't love me enough") and a conclusion is that grandmothers can't really play the role they used to play as mothers : the safe heaven, primary hug giver, the one kids run to when they fall. But at the same time they are not interested in the typical secondary/ dad role "the play date". So they are bored and have trouble finding a connection/their spot. It is a new thing coming from  boomer generation because the generation before had a more caring role/ was more involved as day care substitute, living closer etc... Now grandma and grandpa leave an hour away at best and need to build a different type of relationship. And grandmas don't thrive much in it.

Why are grandmas so important? Because they are usually the ones that rule the social calendar. I bet that if your mom wanted to be there she would schedule the visit for both of them[/quote]
She may not be pretending. Not everybody enjoys playing with kids. I know I don't. I can handle it for a bit, but it drains me very quickly :lol: [/quote]

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