Reply to My teen's room is a disaster...I am getting desperate...please help me help him

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]
OP here.  I intentionally did not comment on this list because it would never work for my ADHD son.  In fact, it would just overwhelm him and, frankly, annoy him.  But he is 15.

[b]I have managed to use one word phrases, and that seems to work.[/b]

For example:

Bed  (make your bed)
Clothes (pick up your clothes and put them in the hamper)
Bathroom (clean up the bathroom)
Glasses (bring empty glasses to the kitchen)

etc. etc.

I think the one word instructions are most effective with all teens.   Teens do not want to be micromanaged.  Even teens with ADHD.

My issue is that I want my teen to do these things without my input.  That is the big challenge now.[/quote]

OP, this comment really seems at odds with your initial post, in which you stated that you have tried everything with your teen, and nothing is working!   Now you say that one word commands like "bed" are effective, and DO seem to work?

So I'm confused.   If your method IS working, then you'd have a child with a clean room right?

Regardless, I'm the parent of a 13 year old teen with pretty severe ADHD, and I created that cleaning list (and others like it for the rest of the house) for both of my children last summer so they could become more independent cleaning around the house.   My non ADHD child LOVES the list.   My ADHD child doesn't mind it and definitely doesn't get overwhelmed by it.   He likes that it is typed out for him, and that once he is done with it, he knows there will be no more nagging.   I also asked him which cleaning tasks he prefers to do, and make sure to put a lot of those kinds of tasks on his list (he said he doesn't mind vacuuming, and he likes washing windows and doing easy stuff that shows clean results immediately (like polishing wood with wood polish).   So I put a lot of those on the list so he gets some positive feedback.

I also think he likes that there are so many steps, yet each one takes just three minutes.   I read somewhere that kids with ADHD thrive on frequent positive reinforcement, like (when they are younger) a little reward for finishing each question (even if it is just an audible "ding") or a reinforcement for each sentence written.   As they get older they need those less and less.

Anyhow, if your method of just 4 words "bed. clothes. bathroom" is working, as you say, then you'd have clean bed, clean bathroom... right?   But you say you don't.

So maybe your child needs more explicit directions as to exactly what steps he needs to do, to clean the bathroom to your specifications?[/quote]

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