Reply to My teen's room is a disaster...I am getting desperate...please help me help him

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[quote=Anonymous]OP here.  Thanks everyone for your responses.  I like that some people believe it is not an ADHD thing, but a teen thing.  My husband is always telling me that most teen boys are like this.  However, I do think a kid with ADHD is even more challenged when it comes time to do the work of cleaning.

I think the advice to purge is a good one.  Starting there will make cleaning up easier because he is running out of places to put things.   It is such a confusing mess.  We do purge about twice a year, in the summer and during winter break.  We just did it over winter break and it has already gotten bad again.  I think now that he is spending so much time in his room with homework, lots of papers end up in there.  He cleans out his backpack, but he doesn't want to throw papers away just in case.  I have given him a basket to put the papers in, but he forgets to use it.  Trust me, I have done a lot to help him stay organized.  The problem is that he does not maintain.  I try not to micromanage, but feel it is necessary because he doesn't see it.  Pick up that towel.  Put that pencil in the drawer.  Close the drawers.  Bring the cups downstairs.  I like the idea of taking a photo of what a clean room is.  I will do this and put it on his bulletin board next time :)

As for food in the room, I agree.  I have told him no food, but he often takes it up when I am not looking.  He is doing his homework up there and likes to snack while he works.  I am going to be more strict on this issue.  He does comply with only water (vs. other beverages), so now I have to get him to comply with the food rule.

We often use a carrot for him to get things cleaned up, and it works.   No screen time until your room and bathroom are cleaned up.  That works like a charm.  But my goal is to get him to have good habits to do it daily so that we don't have to constantly nag him.  Screen time is not available to him during the week, so we can't use that every day.  I always tell DS that I would never nag him if he straightened his room daily.  You would think that would be enough to get him to do it lol.

One other thing I need to recognize is that I am the complete opposite.  My house is free of clutter and I am super organized.

Bottom line, there could be worse things, and hearing that others are suffering through this makes me feel a little better.  I need to keep reminding myself that he is a great kid.  Good grades, doesn't get into trouble, great sense of humor, teachers and coaches love him.  Counting my blessings.
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