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College and University Discussion
Reply to "11th grade son won't discuss college"
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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My son is a junior and getting close to when he'll need to make some decisions about what colleges to apply to. Problem is, he doesn't want to discuss it. I suspect some of it is fear since he's not really sure what he's interested in and he's also concerned that some places he likes may be out of his reach. So far, we've visited one college because it was close, just to get the process started. But even after that, he quickly shut down again and wouldn't talk about other colleges that he might like to put on his list. He's a bright kid, doing full IB, playing a sport he may continue in college, but I fear he may be closing doors without realizing it, but refusing to focus on his options. Short of coming up with a nominal list on our own, I'm really not sure what I can do. I don't want to add to his stress by pressuring him about it, but am aware the clock is ticking. Has anyone had a kid like this? And if so, what did you do? What helped, what didn't? My son has always been young for his age, and the sort who doesn't always live in the real world, which can be charming or maddening depending on the day. :)[/quote] My DS is exactly the same. Here's what I did: I made up a list of colleges that we can afford, scheduled tours/info sessions, gave DS the list and told him where to be and when. I drove DS to all the colleges (the last visit is tomorrow), walked around, ate lunch or dinner at each school's cafeteria, picked up literature, am keeping it in a file of my own at home. DS took the SAT at his school. I'll schedule the repeat SAT for June and the third SAT for September. If I have to, I'll stand over him while he writes his essays, I'll make sure he fills out all the forms, I'll do the FAFSA, and it will get done. If you wait for your child to take the initiative, your kid will end up at CC. That's what I concluded. I tried over and over to discuss college with DS, but he had no interest whatsoever in discussing it, no idea what to study or where to go, etc. My child is very bright, so it shocked me that I have to do all this for him. But I do and I did. I'm not a helicopter mom either, but in this case, there are deadlines. I know that DS will be extremely unhappy if he has to go to CC because he missed the boat and didn't get organized. So I got organized for him. For now. If he's still so passive next year, well, he is going to go to CC, but I don't think that will happen. Now that he's seen a bunch of colleges, he's starting to rank them and is much, much more interested. He needed a jump start, so I gave it to him. [/quote]
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