Reply to Teen DD came out recently, advice for conservative family

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[quote=Anonymous]I do not understand the point of all the "it will pass" talk. intentional or not, that's a really value-laden perspective that implies very strongly that "it" is a negative thing that will hopefully resolve on its own. let's be absolutely clear about this: we're talking about a 13 year old who believes that she is gay, and that is not a bad thing or a good thing. it's just a thing, and before long all the other parts of her identity (student? athlete? artist? comedian? friend?) will slip back into the #1 spot of how she's identifying, and the whole "gay thing" will cease to be so exciting. sure, it's totally possible that she'll turn 15 and realize she likes a boy, and then she'll think about whether maybe she's bi... or maybe she'll ultimately decide she is straight. OR maybe she will remain interested in women. i certainly knew by 13, and now i'm married (to a women) and have children, a professional job, a house in the suburbs and a big circle of mostly-straight liberal friends.

the point is that the "it might be a phase" talk is really unhelpful.  OP, it sounds like you are being very supportive. There is no danger at all in believing what your daughter is telling you. I think responding to trans youth is much, much more complicated -- your kid is not telling you that she needs a new body, she's just saying she wants to date girls someday. It's really not a big deal. At all. She will have a completely normal life, either dating women or men, and there's no reason to wonder or hope if it will pass. Don't worry about that part at all.

Just keep doing what you have been doing: listening, monitoring her mental health (someone earlier mentioned the suicide rates of lgbt youth; don't overreact but do learn the signs), and treating her like she is the same person she has always been (because she is -- you just know her a little better now and are starting to see how brave she is).  If she says she wants to visit grandma, for goodness sake let her go. just stay in touch and be willing to come get her if anything seems off. she's going to be fine. don't let people here scare you.[/quote]

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