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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Op here - I don't mean passionate in terms of wanting to rip each other's clothes off all the time (though that would be great too) just a love that's different from how I feel about a dear friend - however you want to call romantic love[/quote]

You bring up a good point.  Everyones definition of passion is different.  Ive had one very passionate relationship.  The sex was explosive.  It was daily and we could have done it for hours. He brought me to places Ill never go again. I was consumed by him. Our relationship was as explosive as the sex. I'm glad I had this mind blowing passion with someone.  It is a feeling unlike any other. However , like all hot fires and addictions,  it is not sustainable and certainly not what healthy marriages are made of.

My relationship now is more of hot coals burning low and slow.  [b]What you describe sounds like your spouse is squarely in the friend zone [/b]which is death of a marriage for someone as young as yourself. [/quote]

Yes I guess that's what I'm really describing, we've put a lot of work in and have a "good" partnership in terms of all the major check boxes (communication, goals etc) but due to everything that's happened, while I care about him as a person and a friend, I don't see feelings go beyond a good friendship type of love.  So I'm curious if that ends up being enough for people that wish they had more than that - given no marriage is perfect is there a way to be happy with this as good enough. and should I even try to be happy with it as good enough. when there are so many bad marriages out there it seems greedy to throw away one that is functionally good, [b]but right now it feels like there's a big hole.[/b][/quote]

There is your answer.  You feel a hole.

Man here - I don't have "passion" for my wife - I have felt more of that lust feeling with other women.  But I don't feel a hole that I am missing something from that perspective.  Sex, well, of course, I can't be happy without that.  [/quote]

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