Reply to Can I get rid of this sentimental thing from MIL?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I have recently ce to the opinion that people give gifts for a lot of reasons:  because they want to have the special moment when they give you the gift, because they honestly believe it is something you will use and enjoy, or because they want to be remembered fondly whenever you see or use a certain item.  These are not exclusive.  People do not give gifts to be the butt of inside jokes or to be resented every time you look at the gift.  Your MIL already had her moment, and there is no way you are ever going to look at these and think fondly of her.  So, they have served their purpose as gifts to you.  And now you can get rid of them without guilt.  [/quote]

I can add another reason - sometimes people want to give someone else the obligation of owning their things for them. They are ready to remove an item from their space, but instead of dealing with their own goodbye/acknowledgement to that particular object, they pass it along to someone else to hold for them. Then they don't have to deal with having it in their space anymore AND don't have to deal with really parting with it either. This was my take on OP's situation.[/quote]

YES.[/quote]

There is a lot of narcissism involved in this kind of gift-giving. When you receive gifts that are narcissistic in nature, such as OPs situation, you can get rid of them guilt-free. Those gifts weren't given with true care for the receiver but were given to feed the emotional needs of the giver. If you haven't experienced hoarder giving, you probably don't know what I am talking about, but it is a real problem that appeasing won't fix.

I have a relative who gives gifts like this because she  has her own mental health issues. For years I kept them, but I finally realized that I had no obligation to feed her mental health issues at the expense of my own mental health. I started refusing them and being blunt about what would happen to them. ("If you give that to me, I will throw it out.") What is interesting is that establishing boundaries in this aspect made our relationship much better overall. [/quote]

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