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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]To me it sounds like the possible affair could be part of a larger mental health episode.  Could you be cycling from depression to hypomania? [/quote]

To me (NP) it sounds like it could be simply a case of raging hormones. This happens to lots of pre-menopausal women in their 40s. It happened to me and I was almost crazy with horniness and inappropriate longings in my 40s (especially the later 40s). I think the body goes into hormonal hyperdrive before the big collapse. I think that if you can attribute some of your intoxication to a hormonal swing that happens to many women in your age group, then maybe it will help you to put it in perspective and put it behind you.

Maybe you can redirect your fantasy life to a less dangerous target rather than a work mentor who could cost you your job.

Anything new can become all-consuming when it takes us out of the doldrums. What helped me to snap out of it was nearly losing my marriage and finally really truly coming face to face with what mattered most in life to me: my family. I will be paying the price in guilt for the rest of my life, though my husband has long since forgiven me and we have been in a calm and healthy place for many years since my late-40s psycho-hormonal case of Extraordinarily Poor Judgement.[/quote]

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