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[quote=Anonymous]OP, I don't think you quite realize how hard your scenario is going to be.  You don't want your life to be hard.  Please listen to these people carefully.  I have lived in this area for 23 years and they know what they are talking about.  People around here have turned down high paying jobs to avoid the commute.  One of you in DC and one of you in Stafford will be brutal for the whole family.  You will quickly become miserable and will have no quality of life.  It is not an exaggeration.  It is a fact of life in the DMV if you don't plan it right.  But, if you really cannot change one of the jobs, then they are right that one of you must live close to work and one of you must sacrifice on the commute.  A long commute for both of you does no one any good.  +1 on the reverse commute to Stafford.  So, that means you would live close in to DC.  Depending on where you are coming from prepare to temper your housing expectations.  For your budget (assuming $500-$600K), you will be looking at an old, small SFH, TH, or even condo as you get closer to DC.  Housing is out of control here and the closer in to DC you get the more expensive.

Unfortunately, you have a pretty severe conflict among your budget, job locations, and school priorities.  If school really is a top priority and you can afford it, I suggest you live in Alexandria and go private.  This will mean sacrificing on the housing.  If you live in FFX County (Southern) both of your commutes will be long, but you will be able to have good schools.  Arlington County, Falls Church, Northern FFX County (e.g., Annandale, Fairfax, Oakton, Vienna, McLean, etc.) have good schools, but add 20-30 minutes onto the commute to Stafford, which will already be 1+ hours on a good day.  Your commute to DC from those areas would also be 45 mins. to 1 hour each way.  Target your housing search up and down 395 (inside the Beltway) and 95.  If telecommuting is an option take it as often as you can!  Some government jobs are doing it 3+ days a week now.

BTW - Alexandria is not halfway.  Southern FFX County (Springfield, Burke, Lorton) are more like halfway.

With all of that said, this can be a great place to live if you work it right and plan accordingly.  The key is not working in DC and Stafford when you have kids.  Sorry.  Good luck![/quote]

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