Reply to How to gently tell ILs we will not be going there for Christmas

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I think you should make these visits while the kids are young.  Yes, it is a pain to pack up babies and toddlers. You wind up bringing So.Much.Stuff.  And then the stress of never having everything on hand that you need.

Maybe do a 3 or 4 day visit (or shorter) if you can manage.  A week is a long time, probably a bit too long.  But it is really important for both sides of your family to get to know the kids while they are little. And as hard as it may seem schedule wise to fit these visits in it gets even harder once the kids start school and have other activities going on.

You will have time to focus in on your own traditions when the kids are a little older.[/quote]

OP here - a lot of posters are making this into one of those "OMG crazy ungrateful daughter in law" threads, but I have a good relationship with my in laws and we actually see them a lot.  So there is absolutely no issue about them not getting to know the grandkids, and I'm sure they'll be coming to visit a lot after the new baby is born, too.  This is specifically about going to see them for Christmas and what a pain it will be to travel with a small baby and a toddler over the holidays.  We'll definitely go visit with the new baby at some point, but I'd prefer to be able to do that over a low key 3 day weekend or something and not deal with all the stress that comes with traveling over the holidays (plus having to take time off that I don't have, etc…).

*We don't see the aunt that often since she won't travel here, but we see her almost every time we go to see them.[/quote]

I'm not turning this into an ungrateful DIL thing at all.  But when the kids are little it might be nice for them to get to know how that side of the family celebrates Christmas.  It would be fun for the kids to enjoy Santa at the grandparent's house and it might be enjoyable for you to see what the family holiday traditions are just to get a sense of family history.  You could choose to go on some random weekend during the year but it wouldn't be the same...no presents, no special meals, etc.

I would take the kids while they are little.  Otherwise, you would just be staying at home and not celebrating the holidays. You'll probably have at least a day or two off anyway for the holidays. You would probably have to use more leave if you went at another, random non-holiday time.  Just something to think about.[/quote]

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