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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I think all the logical discussion/removal of privileges approaches are good ones but there are some times when you just need the shock value of reactivity to emphasize how completely unacceptable that behavior is.

Our son---adopted as an older child and completely defiant and disobedient, took to pulling my hair when angry---counting on the fact that I wouldn't do it back to him.  I finally said very calmly, "If you do that to me again, I am going to do it back to you."  He tried me out and I jerked him up by his hair and he never did it again.  If you can't control them physically at 7, then you are in for a lot of trouble when they are larger and can actually hurt you seriously.  (And a 7 year old can cause a lot of damage---I got a bloodied lip from being head-butted when holding my tantruming kid on my lap to keep him from throwing things).

Your son doesn't pull the hitting stunt with your DH because he is physically intimidated by him.  You, not so much, and he is testing his limits on that.

So in this instance, I don't fall in with the pacifists.  I'm sorry---the natural consequence for hitting someone as an adult is that they are legally  entitled to hit you back.  That's called self-defense.  So when a 7 year old hits, I don't see anything wrong with an immediate and hard smack on the rear, followed by banishment to his room.  And then I would focus on affirmative reparations instead of removal of privileges--I'd assign extra chores---weeding the yard, sweeping the porch, with the explanation that in a family we don't hit each other, and when we do, we need to make extra amends to the family unit by doing something positive for the household.[/quote]

Wow, good luck when your parent is a teenager. Congrats for using physical punishment on a kid who was probably abused. a+ parenting there. [/quote]

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