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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Your problem is that when your MIL announces at the last minute that she is coming, you cancel plans with friends and frantically clean and cook. Instead you should say, "Great, glad you are coming, I have X Y and Z plans but we will love to have you here and I'll be available for dinner. Let's order pizza." Etc.

You can also tell her no if you don't want her to come. You don't have to have a reason. You don't have to feel guilty.

The bigger, more generous thing to do would be to let her come. You and your parents would be nicer people if you genuinely welcomed her. Maybe she likes your parents and would like to spend time with them. But being generous only works if it is actually sincere. If you feel put-out and do it grudgingly, it's best if you just don't. Tell MIL this is not a good time for you all but you would love to see her the next weekend, or whenever suits you. It's your house.   [/quote]

This is also good advice. I want to be more generous than I am, but am just not feeling it right now (probably due to pregnancy). I DO want to create a culture of grandparent inclusion in our family though. This does mean less "hosting" and more being laid back Im realizing.[/quote]

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