Reply to MEN ONLY- why do you have difficulties talking about your feelings?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]1.  It's not how I was brought up.  My father was my role model.  And he's not the type of guy to talk about his feelings.  So honestly, until I was a grown man it never occured to me that this was really an option.

2.  Even if I wanted to, I lack the emotional vocabulary to talk about them.   My wife can tell me about her feelings, and can do so in a way that is honest and not hurtful to me, even when she has something bad to tell me.  But I lack the ability/experience to do this.

3.  It makes me feel weak and vulnerable.  I don't like to feel that way, and I don't like others - my wife included - to see me that way.[/quote]

This too.  Emotional vocabulary is lacking - I feel "fine" or "sad" or "its ok" rarely cuts it. Or It seems the expectation is that I have a several paragraph explanation ready at a moments notice and when it's not there it's something that needs to be worked on and thought about until the essay is ready. [/quote]

This original post makes me a bit sad - I think everyone deserves to be able to adequately express themselves. Emotions aren't optional or something that can be pushed aside and ignored - they are a normal part of being a human and a sign that your brain is adequately processing and reacting to the behaviour going on around you.

Being able to competently and clearly state how you're feeling isn't a sign of weakness or vulnerability. Being specific in your communication with your spouses is as important as being specific with work communications. [/quote]

+1. By withholding, the people in your life don't really get to truly know you or how you tick. [/quote]
+2[/quote]

I'm the original poster, and you don't have to be sad for me.  I'm happy, successful, and have strong and secure relationships with my wife, my children, and my friends.    My wife knows me, and knows by my actions when I need something - and knows how to tell me when she needs something.  My kids know I love them and would do anything to help and protect them.    My friends know how strong our bonds are.  I just don't feel the need to go on and on about my emotions.    [/quote]

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