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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Bright kids don't need a helicopter parent. [/quote]

But all kids need involved parents. [/quote]

Involved parents[b] aren't "anxious" about HGC admittance or travel teams...those are competitive helicopter parents who are living vicariously through their children.[/b]..typically because they weren't as accomplished during their own childhood. Trust me, we can pick you out of the crowd. You aren't doing any favors for your child.[/quote]

So, if I am anxious about my kid's HGC or magnet acceptance, I am a bad parent? WTF? [/quote]

Yep. You're likely creating a very stressful environment for your child, and that's not helpful. It can actually be quite harmful.

You need to strike the right balance: be nurturing and supportive, but realize that your child's accomplishments are their own. [/quote]

I would love to see how your kids turn out.  :roll: [/quote]

Thanks for proving my point.

Why are you in competition with a stranger on dcum? How would you measure success between our kids? And why would you want to?

You ladies are truly nutty. I hope your kids don't end up in therapy. You remind me of a girl I went to school with who literally busted out a bottle of Advil every time a new project was assigned. Her mother did a number on her. They were in family therapy and individual therapy starting in middle school. Sure, she graduated from an Ivy...but she's single, childless, and essentially a broken person thanks to her mother's actions. Of course, there are other ways for children of controlling helicopter parents to rebel: eating disorders, drugs, sex, and suicide. 
[/quote]

So, do you take total "hands-off" approach? How old is your kid and how is (s)he doing? [/quote]

My oldest is in high school. Mostly straight As.

Middle schooler is a straight A student.

Elementary student is Ps with 1-2 ES per quarter.

They're fine. Bright, happy, athletic and well-rounded.

I'm a lawyer and was an excellent student who tested well. DH didn't test well and was a solid B (sometimes C) student. (By the way, DH out earns me...which should be a lesson to some of you who erroneously believe that grades and fancy schools are a golden ticket). Education matters to us, but we aren't creating a pressure cooker for our kids. We aren't pushing. We aren't demanding. We aren't setting unrealistic expectations. We don't feel anxious about anything. We realize that we had our own childhood, and that this is their childhood. Their accomplishments are their own---not mine.

And I'm sure many of you will say that you aren't pressuring your kids. But I've heard you before. I've heard you chastise your kid after a soccer game. I've heard you compare your kid's project to a classmate's project. I've heard you say, "a moment on the lips, a lifetime on the hips."

My kids are being raised in an environment where they realize that kids who do a semester or two at MC before graduating from UMCP are on equal footing with the Blair kids who got free rides. That takes the pressure off. They know that DH and I aren't living vicariously through them and that we are always proud of them regardless of their grades and academic accomplishments. Ymmv (heck, I know it does after reading these threads).

Candidly, I derive the most pleasure from hearing compliments on how kind my kids are. From a very early age, my kids have been adept at carrying on conversations with adults, putting people at ease, and charming folks. They're the kids who stand up and introduce themselves when a person joins the group. They're the kids who jump up and offer their seat to an adult.

Last summer my oldest was mowing the lawn when the trash collector pulled up, and my son ran inside to grab water bottles for the men. He chatted with them for a few minutes before they moved on. My neighbor told me the story. That was a proud moment.

I'll beat the snarky comment from the haters by proactively saying that my son will not grow up to be a garbage collector. He's going to college and is on the fence about a career in philanthropy or as a sports agent. He's pushy in a fun way, so he would excel in either arena.

I'm not saying to ignore your child's education. I'm just observing a tremendous amount of angst and pressure that is completely unnecessary and often harmful.

The people who "win" at life typically weren't top of their class...think about that. And think about how you would define "winning at life" for your kids. My definition doesn't contemplate GPA at all.

[/quote]

Does anyone else read her description of her son and think she's raising a real life Eddie Haskil?[/quote]

Nope. My kids are truly kind. They aren't fake. But you can choose to believe that if it makes you feel better.

My kids are the ones who stand up against bullies and welcome everyone to the group. They go out of their way to include the kids with special needs or kids who are often the targets of bully. They're just really cool people. They haven't been raised in a bubble, and I think their exposure to human suffering and compassion made a tremendous impact on their moral compass. [/quote]

We get it.  Ward and June - with their exemplary parenting skills and empathy for the suffering- have raised tomorrow's saviors.

Thank you!

[img]https://huttshead.files.wordpress.com/2010/06/man_praying_center_for_biblical_counseling.gif[/img][/quote]

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