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[quote=Anonymous]Let her quit.  My daughter's teacher said at the beginning of the year something like:  "please, if they don't like it, let them quit.  They miss instructional time and I'm more than happy to teach around that if they are having a positive experience with music.  But if you're just keeping them in to make a point about perseverance, please don't."  
I usually make a child finish out something they've committed to, but this is whole year, and if she really hates it, I really don't see the point.  My daughter talks about quitting because she doesn't think the class moves quickly enough, so I give her the "you have to walk before you can run" speech.  But I don't think that's what's going on with OP's daughter.
oP, I would be more worried about the significant performance anxiety and figure out if she should be getting help for this.  How does she do with things like reciting poetry in front of the class?  Speaking up at Girl Scout meetings, or whatever it is she does?  Is she a perfectionist about other things?  My daughter has been playing piano for years and suddenly at age 9 started a weird phase where she didn't want me to record her or invite family to her performance because she was self-conscious.  I'm trying hard to nip that in the bud, but it is, I think, a common developmental phase.  Little kids think they are good at everything; Tweens suddenly realize that is not true and then become worried they are actually terrible at everything.  And then, particularly with girls, I think they feed each other's insecurities and play up a false modesty ("oh, I'm TERRIBLE at...").  I think it's destructive in the long term, so I'm working hard to install good lessons like -- do your best, you won't be the best at everything or even most things and that's okay, if you give up everything that you think you're bad at, you'll never learn no things and will lead a pretty boring life, etc.  [/quote]

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