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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here:

I really hate that my sibling really F's me over with all their changes in holiday plans. They change plans on my parents and all of a sudden they are banging down my door.

This has happened several times now. In fact, one year, when I was first married, my sibling changed plans for Christmas - deciding to go to the inlaws instead. I already had made plans to have my inlaws down for Christmas that year, knowing that my parents would already have plans. My parents literally asked me to cancel on my inlaws, so they could come instead, so they wouldn't be alone for Christmas....

It's stuff like this that makes me want to book a vacation away for every major holiday.[/quote]

Don't put this on your sibling, unless he changes his mind last minute every single time. 
It's your mother's fault for overreacting and putting her needs above others. 
You see how she manages to put you at odds with your sibling? Don't fall for it. Classic maneuver, my mother does this all the time.

And a PP had it right - why exactly do you care so much that she gets angry? Let it go. You don't have to live with her, your father does, and he chose this eyes wide open. He gets to suffer, not you. Let her be angry. Go ahead and take care of just yourself. It's your only life, and it's hanging by a thread.

Been there, done that.
[/quote]

I agree. Stop acquiescing to these demands and blaming your sister. This is your mother's issue alone. You need to tell her you aren't focused on thanksgiving and won't be for some time. And then when you do focus on it, it's PERFECTLY FINE to say, "It's DH family's turn this year." Let the chips fall where they may. It is not your job to manage your mother's anxiety.[/quote]

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