Reply to Mother's Anxiety and Holidays

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here:

I hear what you all are saying.

I really hate being pitted in the middle of everyone's expectations. My parents, my in-laws predominantly. I don't have a problem with my sibling - though I wish I could have gotten a heads up that this was coming.

If they would all freaking grow up and act like adults, none of this would be an issue because it would be easy and or enjoyable to have both sets of inlaws with us for a holiday. Unfortunately, that's not the case.

It's very easy to tell someone in this situation to tell the parents not to bother you with this right now and who cares if they are mad. And another to know that the reality is that this will be brought up in every conversation now from here until the Fall. The longer I choose not to answer the more pushing there will be. That's just the reality of what I have coming. I have to deal with it or cut off my relationship with my parents.

I have a completely self-centered Mother who can't seem to grasp that life isn't all about her and her needs. I've always had to manage that and try to set boundaries as best as I can - much counseling has been had on this issue.

Anecdotally - this past Christmas, my sibling had my parents over on Christmas eve and for dinner on Christmas Day. They came down to see us over the weekend after Christmas. Mom posted a big diatribe on Facebook to her friends about how awful it is to be ALONE on Christmas morning. She was angry with my sibling for not having them over in the morning to watch the kids open their gifts. That they were ONLY invited for Christmas eve and Christmas day dinner. Just a way of showing you what BS and fake created drama we're dealing with here.[/quote]

I posted earlier but want to reiterate that no, it's not necessarily easy for us to tell you to royally ignore your mother's conniptions - some of us deal with the same thing! I once went 2 YEARS without seeing my mother face to face, because she was so obnoxious. You may theoretically know that you need to have stronger willpower than she. Understandably it's hard for you right now to deal with this. We all sympathize with your situation, believe me!

Do what is easier for you right now. Many times people take the path of least resistance - enabling. When you are stronger, you may want to start not giving a damn.
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