Reply to DH friendships with women - what's your comfort level

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[quote=Anonymous][quote]Has anyone had a convo like this with his/her spouse?
[/quote]

yes, I did, different circumstances but similar anxieties (was I being not cool, too jealous, etc).  I wont lie, it was kind of ugly. he was super defensive, then went on the attack, etc. I was controlling, jealous, etc. But I stood my ground. I said that I was really not comfortable with this, unless he wanted to invite me along, and that he had to weigh the importance of seeing this person versus hurting and disappointing me and that i'd be happy to discuss in counseling if we couldn't come to agreement. that I didnt want to control him, but that I was trying to protect our marriage and that I didn't think I was being unreasonable. Perhaps he wasn't being unreasonable either, but if all things being equal, wouldn't respecting my desires take precedence over coffee with some random woman?

He let it go but it was not easy for a while and left a lot of resentment. It also made us discuss other hard subjects, like how much our relationship had changed since kids, what it is he was looking for, etc.

much later he admitted it was a jackass thing to do, and not respectful and not coming from a healthy place. [/quote]

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