Reply to Economics of Dating a Divorced Man w/ 2 noncustodial kids

Forum Index » Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)

Reply to "Economics of Dating a Divorced Man w/ 2 noncustodial kids"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]This was/is my situation as well.  I married a man with 2 kids from his ex wife who is a SAHM.  The kids are now in college and we pay for that.  We also have 2 children.  DH still provides alimony to the ex and will continue to do so for many more years.

OP--this is a conversation you need to have and you need to understand the full ramifications of his financial commitments.  DH makes $300K and I make $200K.  The reality of the finances are that his salary goes to support his first family and my salary supports our family.  He didn't always make $300K so there is no college savings.  We pay out of pocket each year.

Even at $500 HHI, we fight about money and we are on a budget.  To us, we have 4 children and we consider each one and the impact it has on the others.  Financially, each child has their own needs.  The older ones have college tuition and the associated costs, the younger ones had daycare and now aftercare as well as summer camps.

Vacations are pretty basic and we always take them as a family of 6.  There are no European trips or exotic beach destinations.

There are also times when the ex wife would call and need something new.  Like a new car or a new roof.  You need to be prepared to accept these things as part of his life.

DH and I dated for 10 years before we were able to work everything out and come to terms with what our life would look like together.

The good news is that there is an end.  The children eventually graduate from college.  But again, there's no guarantee that they will be able to support themselves.  Just as if my bio children needed some financial help after college, if my step kids need monthly help, we will send them money.

The way I look at it is that in my marriage there are 3 adults, 4 children, 2 households, and 2 salaries.  The 2 salaries have to make everything else work.
[/quote]

You nee to learn how to budget better.  We managed a Europen vacation on an HHI of $150k.[/quote]

+1 on this.  I am a single mom making $150k; I was able to take my kids on two caribbean vacations last year.  I am also saving for college and maxing out my 401k.  And I still have one in aftercare.  I don't get alimony.

PP needs some professional help with budgeting.  [/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics