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Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)
Reply to "Breaking the Mommy Martyr Routine"
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[quote=Anonymous]OP - you are getting terrible advice here. I am a DW with a martyr mom who tends that way myself. You need to stop being subtle with her. Tell her in a calm time when she is happy that you are troubled by the dynamic that is set up. You teach people how to treat you and you are allowing her to treat you and the kids this way. My Dad dd this for YEARS until he didn't and they got divorced. She will not hear you the first couple times you tell her - keep trying and be clear with her in the moment as well. But don't turn these into big fights. Just be firm, calm and clear. That you have a vision for your relationship and for her well-being and yours and your relationships with the kids. Her view of "her job being with the kids" is weird and she needs to get past that. Some therapy might help if needed. Good luck! You sound like a great guy - similar to my husband - and we have really come far in this arena and have a great life together. Improves the sex life too - because you are helping her take care of herself. and taking care of yourself. [/quote]
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