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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]People in controlling relationships often stay in those relationships because they are in denial/enabling-- so they may not be aware of it -- thinking their life is "normal" (frog in a frying pan, etc.) -- and thus not replying..... Just a hunch.[/quote]

I had a friend like this, she died but had the worst husband. Major denial. She let him financially ruin them but continued to say he was a good business man. Lived above their means. He would always find a lender for these "creative" loans, and I would constantly tell her not to do it. It got so bad I told her she shouldn't sign anything with him.  She wouldn't listen, and they filed for bankruptcy.  They didn't understand all the ramifications and how the restructuring would work. She asked me to look up the lawyer her husband hired because he was always charging them for every little thing, and tons. I found so many liens on this nut. He also owed his psychiatrist money...omg. Thankfully they dropped the BR idea but gave this lawyer around 8 grand for nothing.  I was the one that told her she signed an adjustable rate, she didn't believe it because her sneaky husband had the Quicken Loan guys come to their house with the documents, told her to initial and sign and she didn't read the whole thing.  He knew she wouldn't.

However, when she brought up their house saying it was a low rate and would be fixed I offered to look it up for her online.  Just as I suspected, a fixed rate that was going to go sky high.  I copy and pasted it all to her.  He was furious at me BUT too bad.

A controlling guy, and sneaky but she was also to blame.  She would act like they had a great marriage, but I knew it was really bad.

People that stay in denial do so because it's a coping mechanism.  Controlling people often pick these people for obvious reasons.

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