Reply to Why did you cheat on your spouse?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Depressions, anxiety, unresolved issues with self esteem from childhood.

I think most people having affairs are fooling themselves that it is about sex. [/quote]

PP here.  Let me ask you.  Have you ever found yourself in a situation where you considered an affair.  If not, I am not sure you are in any position to tell anyone whether they are fooling themselves.  I did not have any of the issues that you cited. I just wanted to screw on a regular basis.  After intervention and pleading, spouse still refused.

So to turn your phrase, some of you who think that every affair is about more than sex are fooling themselves also.  Some folks enjoy a healthy sex life and just want to f*ck.[/quote]

Consider, no.... offers, many.

I am in a reasonable position because I have rarely counseled a couple that is dealing with an affair where the cheater does not have unresolved issues, they won't admit it, they blame others for their problem... but they have issues.

You may have the issues but you don't know it or don't accept it, it is not in the norm to put your "screwing" above the needs of others. You think you have it all figured out, you sound delusional.

Maybe you should ask a professional their opinion, have you ever done that?[/quote]

What needs of others have I put screwing above?  Do my needs matter at all - especially when I articulated my unhappiness to my spouse for YEARS.  That is part of the problem I have with this armchair diagnosis.  Am I wrong for doing what I have done?  Sure in the traditional sense.  If I knew then what I know now, I would have just divorced my spouse.  But you all need to stop vilifying people who think that sex and intimancy should be a nomal part of a relationship.  Everyone want to blame the cheater while brushing off some of the reasons that the marriage got to that point.  Some people are horndogs who would cheat otherwise.  Not everyone is.

Sure I have.  But the professional did not tell me that I was delusional or sick because societal norms implied that I was.  She told me that the desire for regular intimacy was normal and an integral part of any marriage.  What I wanted was not strange or irregular.  She urged to me to consider divorce which I did not do. [/quote]

You are either a sociopath or border line one.[/quote]

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