Reply to Fuming! Need some advice about SIL and how she handled soemthing

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Graciously accept the gift. They can afford it, and it is consistent with their lifestyle, but not yours - and your DD knows this. Accepting the gift doesn't mean you are changing your own family's values or choices - and your DD understands that too. She's 16, and has grown up in your household, not yours.

You can act shocked and even let your DD know that you don't approve at all, that you think it's crazy, and talk about why. But at the same time acknowledge SIL's generosity.

Make sure your DD understands how to care for it properly and treat it well. And make sure she thanks them profusely.

But don't fume - they make different choices than you, that's all. And FWIW, I am like you and would never in a million years make such a purchase. My own bag is $30. My kids understand this about me, and it's how we live as a family, so I wouldn't make a big deal if my DD got an extravagant gift for a special occasion.

Your DD is being raised by you, not your SIL.[/quote]

Agree with this entire post. OP, unless you wish to alienate SIL forever, you can't say anything. Have DD write a thank you note (you don't have to, the gift wasn't to you) and tell DD it is her responsibility to care for the bag. She can find out how to care for it, she can do the care, and if something happens to it, there is no replacing it unless she does so from her own money.

I buy my purses at Target. They cost $30. I sew them up when they get ratty until I no longer can do so. I would never in a million years buy a purse that cost more than $100, much less $1800. I find it to be shocking. But DD is 16, not 10; she's old enough to know what she wants and to develop her own style, and if that's markedly different from yours, all you can do is sigh. If she's not using your money to buy her stuff, and it's not completely inappropriate in a sexual way, then I say let her do what she wants.[/quote]

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