Reply to Am I selfish to ask my ex wife to relocate so I can be close to my child?

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Reply to "Am I selfish to ask my ex wife to relocate so I can be close to my child?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Yes, it is selfish.

And you are right to be concerned. My dad moved cross country when I was 13 and it was a major, negative impact on our relationship both then and continuing into my 30's. [/quote]

OP here, my dad did the same thing and my siblings and I were all affected by this even to this day. That's why I don't want to make the same mistake with my daughter.[/quote]

How old is your daughter? Can you wait until she's in college, or is that too far away?

I'm a single mom, and I moved with my kid to DC and his dad stayed in our original state. It's not ideal, but my ex was abusive and I had no support network in the other state. My network in DC, while small, is far better than before I moved. It was also economically necessary since I received a job offer here after grad school that I couldn't replicate where we were living (my ex also pays little support, so we were on SNAP and Medicaid).

The distance is difficult for my son, but his dad really goes the distance and keeps up a nearly impossible visitation schedule, and has for years. If you would be willing to keep up and afford twice a month in the DC area, I think your relationship with your kid would be fine.

Asking the mom to move though is unrealistic - like others have said she also needs work, and a support network. Your daughter will need to change schools and make all new friends. People and families move, so she would probably be fine if it worked out. If the move is hard on mom though, and puts her under financial strain pushing it could also strain your relationship with your daughter. It really sounds like you didn't think this all the way through.

And, get more parenting time regardless. In my old state my sons spent one night/week at his dad's, plus every other weekend. I think that's fairly standard. [/quote]

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