Reply to DW has incredibly low sex drive - not sure what can be done to help

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Demand sex? Yes, marriage is supposed to be a sexual relationship. Sex is a legitimate and normal need and while it is sad that one must elevate to making "demands" in order to be taken seriously, that is a logical next step.

Cheat? I would not call it cheating if a wife refuses to participate in the physical intimacy of a normal marriage. One cannot both demand monogamy and deny sex at the same time. [/quote]

Oh please never an excuse to cheat, women do it to and it's just as wrong. He won't help enough around the house, doesn't take out the garbage, doesn't help with the kids..blah blah.  Yes both need to be monogamous.  There are choices, compromise, counseling, or get divorced and then date. No one has the right to expose someone to a deadly disease or bring some outsider nut upon their family.

OP sounds like a nice guy, overall it's seems like a good marriage. I believe he said they are in their 50's.  As you age, the attraction may not be there. I had a few older friends and they weren't interested in men over 45-50 physically though they loved their husbands. That's why some older men pick young women because they wouldn't be attracted to women their age. The younger ones want the money and the older guy is ok paying for that.

I suspect OP's wife isn't attracted, nothing can change that.

[/quote]

This is probably spot-on.

I don't know how old OP's DW is, but can tell you that at 55yo I have lost most interest in sex.  From an evolutionary standpoint this seems logical to me.

[b]I often wonder why there are so many proposed fixes for women with low libidos to make them want sex, and no proposed fixes for men with higher libidos to make them want less sex. [b] [/quote]

Because a regular sexual relationship is wonderful and fulfilling. You have that kind of relationship usually with just one person and it's special and wonderful?
Why would you want to take that away? You sound very far gone![/quote]

Not PP, but I don't think she is talking about taking anything away. It goes away, and I agree, from the evolutionary standpoint, it's rational. By 55 mother nature is done with women's main function in this world for sure. Same as there is a definite break in the wonderful and fulfilling relationship after childbirth. Yet, women are forced by marital and societal pressures to grin and bear it.

Married men in their 50s, on the other hand, live in their own purgatory. No advice for OP other than find an interested woman on the side. It sucks, but that's your ever after. [/quote]

Don't cheat. If you cheat, you are instantly the bad guy and she is Saint Cheated-On. She will destroy your life in court. Just divorce her if it gets to that point [/quote]

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