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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Honestly my parents and inlaws are like that. They travel extensively and do stay in hotels, but when they visit family, they expect to stay in someone's home. And if they couldn't, they just wouldn't visit. We'd rather have our family visit than not (we like them).

And because we knew that, we've made sure to get a place big enough to have a guest bedroom. [/quote]

+1.  Some of it is what you are used to.  My dad's side of the family didn't have a lot of money growing up (large family in the south, during Jim Crow era) and they really depended heavily on each other when they moved from their hometown.  They have a family is family mentality and I didn't really get it until I went to a family reunion.  There would be no way on God's green earth you would suggest Grandma stays at a hotel to visit you.   My husband's family grew up differently.  It was a smaller family and they weren't as dependent/interdependent on each other.  I think he grew up with his maternal grandparents offering to stay at a hotel when needed so it isn't a stretch that his parents offer to stay at a hotel.  I fully realize this is one of those things where we are raised differently.  I had relatives sleep where there was a sleeping surface (we once had my grandma and two cousins stay with us over Thansgiving and we only had 1 guest room) while my husband is like each guest has to have their own room.

The only other thing I would add is I definitely feel like if I am at a hotel, I am on a vacation. We may make plans to meet for lunch or dinner but I'm not going to hang around your house all day and only head to the hotel at night and come back for breakfast in the morning.  So it will be true that I only see you for 2-3 hours in a day for that meal or that specific event (like birthday party at 1:00pm).  So there is no point in me visiting, only to see you 2-3 hours a day if I'm not either truly taking a vacation and swinging by to see you or it is a special event.  Maybe because I grew up with relatives not ever staying at a hotel, I would assume if you suggested a hotel it is because you only want to see me 2-3 hours or we don't have the type of relationship where you are willing to host (like a 3rd cousin once removed, I'm not going to drop everything or invite to stay over but I would be more willing to sacrifice some comfort for my mom)[/quote]

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