Reply to Harmless, but annoying "stalking"? At what point should I take action?

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Reply to "Harmless, but annoying "stalking"? At what point should I take action?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]There were a few kind of "creepy" things--for example, one day I said my kids school was cancelled due to snow.   A few days later he told me that he had my kids school district home page as one of the settings on HIS computer so he would know when their school was cancelled.   [/quote]

I'm surprised no one else has mentioned this, but while ALL of his actions go beyond "harmless," in my view, this is the most egregious and frightening thing on your list. He understood that you were making an excuse, true or not, not to see him, and his response was to put you on notice that he would henceforth be fact-checking your excuses AND is effectively stalking your children too. This is really threatening behavior - possibly to your children, and definitely to you. At the very least he wants you to be worried and afraid that he has eyes on you and yours, and will catch you in a lie when you try to avoid him. It's a form of control, which is really what stalking is all about. He can't tolerate the rejection and is trying to coerce you into maintaining a relationship against your will.

I think you're in denial a bit. I totally get that you're hoping it'll all go away and you won't have to tell your husband. He will be pissed, no doubt, all the more so because you had the great misfortune to flirt a little with an unstable stalker who has set his homepage to your kids' school. Just typing that gives me chills. But you need to tell him, and you definitely need to consult law enforcement. Under no circumstances should you reply to this guy in any way, and stay away from his wife too. Time for the pros to handle it. If you give in to him now, all you're telling him is that by stepping up his harassment, he gets your attention, and he'll keep doing it. What a disaster. I'm so sorry, OP.

PS - I think I know of what I speak because I had to endure one of these losers too, except he was an ex-BF, so the emotional stakes were much higher for him. I had to ignore him for years - literally years, I think 5? - until I finally heard the last of him. And I think it was really only because he found a new woman to beam his craziness on. [/quote]

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