Reply to My DD told me that I am the maid

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Reply to "My DD told me that I am the maid"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I know you aren't asking for advice, but it sounds to me like you are engaging her WAY too much. There is so much back and forth in your description, and hateful comments being thrown from both sides.

For the plate bussing, all you needed to do is calmly repeat yourself, then impose a consequence for disrespect. (Maybe canceling a social activity since she is indicating she doesn't have time to fulfill family and academic obligations)

For the laundry issue, i would have stuck to a 'wow, you don't talk to me like that. You are now in charge of your own laundry, and we can discuss this again in a month.' End of story, no more engaging,[/quote]

This is good advice.

We got tired of the endless dragging out of bedtimes in our house, with our 12yo ending up hanging around and stalling till 9:30 and 10pm.  i NEED them to go to bed, even just to read, at 9ish, so i can have some time to recharge and talk to my H before i sleep at 10.

Here is what is working well for us.  They must be in bed, teeth brushed, reading, by 8:45. they can read until 9:15.  if they miss this deadline, phone is taken the next day.  impassive enforcement is key.  do not respond to reasons why they need to stay up later such as needing a shower.  this is failure to plan and is on them.  stay impassive, enforce, and do not engage in drama. [/quote]

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