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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]CPS - they can evaluate the family and at least have a preliminary psych eval done of the mother- at the very least, the mother may get some much-needed services,

i think your concerns about cleanliness, lack of food, and missed days of school are more than sufficient to be reportable.

[/quote]

OP, I want to second the post above. Lack of food -- really, they're having to catch fish in the river to provide a basic meal? They're "camping" when actually they are at that point homeless? -- is one real reason to get CPS involved now, not later. The missed school should already have had the school out looking for them.

You can call CPS anonymously, you know. When you do, don't wing it -- write out, in advance, what you want to say, so you don't miss anything. At the least, CPS can evaluate the mom's mental capacities. Be certain to mention that SIL is pregnant again and that you fear for the baby since the mom already is living "camping" at times, and is apparently not receiving any prenatal medical treatment.[/quote]

+1.  It will put them on CPS's radar & if the situation deteriorates, hopefully CPS will have more to work with.   It may also link your SIL to a social worker who can convince her to accept medical care or at least see a doctor.  I used to be a post partum nurse & cannot tell you how many babies were cleared by CPS to go home with parents with clear records of drug use and seriously questionable care skills.  But that initial call gets them into the system and initiates some level of oversight.

Closer to home, I have also spent 15 yrs watching my niece grow up in miserable circumstances: brother & his ex are heavy smokers, drug users, hoarders (rooms packed to the ceilings with stuff, filthy & goat trails) and unable to hold jobs of any sort.  They have no desire to change their lifestyles and avoid doctors like the plague. After breaking up, SIL obtained full custody and has had a parade of different boyfriends come in & out of niece's life. She also "homeschools" my niece, sending in enough proof to keep niece out of the public school system and quite isolated.  At nearly 16, my niece is painfully shy, can barely do 3rd grade math and 6th grade reading, has no similar-age friends, and rarely sees a doctor.  Ex SIL is paranoid, fractious & volatile. For example, if ex SIL feels like we are somehow upstaging her by wishing niece a happy birthday or trying to be FB friends with niece, ex SIL will take pictures of a bruise from a trip & fall accident and call the police to report that we beat her (never mind that we live two hours away & haven't seen her in 5 yrs..).  These things get dismissed by the police & in court, but it is miserable for everyone.

I've used countless days off clearing out room after room at my brother's place & scrubbing down the kitchen & bath in the hopes of having a reasonably clean place for my niece when she visits; but everything returns to status quo quickly. I've tried to set up psych appointments for brother, but he won't go. Offers to "host" niece for any amount of time or send her to summer camp have been met with suspicion & fury from ex SIL and just results in further estrangement, so we don't do that any more.  My parents & I tiptoe and have resorted to doing small things that might make a difference: sending presents, supplies, books, etc via my brother, who has occasional access to her.  We have extra savings in the hopes that niece can get remedial education and make it to college eventually; her parents don't know.  Somehow, my niece has managed to survive 16 yrs - in two more years, she will be emancipated & it will be far easier to get her help without having to go through her parents.  So we do what we can, report what we can and hold our breaths.  Time passes.  Try to give what support you can and a line of communication open.  Good luck.[/quote]

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