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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My oldest child is only 6 and my MIL is not an angel but incompetent is not a word I will use to describe anyone who has raised an adult.[/quote]

If you know no adults to whom that word pertains, be grateful  [/quote]

That MIL you are calling incompetent has done what she could in her own era with what she had, to raise her children, one of whom you are married to, so you have no right to call her incompetent at least not until you have raised one on your own. 20 to 30 years from now, come back and let's assess how competent you have been.[/quote]

Not that PP, but: We need to recognize that some adults [i]are[/i] incompetent to raise children into healthy, productive adults. Just because someone reached the age majority doesn't mean that the people who raised them are competent. Some adults are damaged. Others reached adulthood relatively unscathed because they had at least one competent parent or other grownups who helped them. [/quote]

PP here.  I agree with this statement, mostly because it pertains to me, and most adults I know.  I used to say that MIL is not a nice person - but that is an understatement.  MIL is a nasty, bitter, abusive person who refuses to accept anyone who is different; and sees anyone who is different as a personal threat.  Since I am not a psychiatrist, I am not equipped to handle her, or her nastiness.  Nor do I deserve it.  Maybe MIL does not respect herself well enough to respect others, but I do.  There is no need for me to put myself in harm's way, or for her young grandchildren to see her in action.

Maybe, in your mind, this is acceptable behavior.  Or maybe you are simply a similar person as MIL.  Heck, perhaps you are her, for all I know.  If you were, I would tell you that it would not kill you to not be so GD nasty, frankly.  If having bragging rights to your bridge club, about your imagined drama, is so important to you - it will have to be about someone else.  Not me.  [/quote]

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