Reply to How to make sex a priority without making it a chore

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I get that timidity is a turn off, but when you are really not in the fucking mood for sex, how do you respond to a forceful, aggressive insistence on sex by your DH? [/quote]

Yeah, DH here...I'd like to know the answer to this too, because a couple of "plow ahead with a lukewarm partner" episodes have ended in tears (hers) and feeling very rapey (me).  Not really wanting to go there again.[/quote]

Well, remember the "take charge, no wimpy initiations" is from the women's perspective, and it works for them because 1) if it is successful, it is much hotter to be taken by a man who is raging with desire for you than someone lightly stroking your arm kinda sorta wondering if you might want to have sex later but no biggie if not, or 2) if they really aren't in the mood, they can tell their husbands "no".

The problem for men, is if you turn on the alpha-tear her clothes off routine, and you get the hard "no" it is an overt rejection that can really sting the ego.  So women advocate the hard come on because they don't have to risk the brutal rejection.

Sort of like how men tell high libido women asking how to turn on their low libido husbands: just put on some lingerie and take out his penis and give him a BJ.  Sure, that works for most men, but low libido men aren't most men and can you even imagine the destruction to a woman's self esteem when her low libido husband rejects THAT advance.[/quote]

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