Reply to Daughter got in a fight at school - how to help her defend herself next time?

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[quote=Anonymous]Some assorted thoughts:

Going to a new school may or may not help.  I think that every school has bullies and they seek out the vulnerable.  On the other hand, different schools have different cultures and a change of school can provide a fresh start.  My daughter had an absolutely horrible 3rd grade year to the point  that other parents were calling me because their kids were so upset at what they saw happening.  (I'm incredibly grateful to them because I wouldn't have known otherwise.)  We worked with the school, documented EVERYTHING, and got it under control but it was still bad.  The next year she went to a different school for a different program and while she wasn't Miss Popularity, the targeting was over.  After we left I heard from other parents that the bullies had turned on their kids.  Basically, I think there was a bad dynamic at work at that school, in that grade and the bullies were feeding off each other.

As for the possibility of switching schools it has been my experience that   when dealing with MCPS there is official policy and there are the individual agreements that can be worked out with if you can find somebody willing to be reasonable.  Keeping your daughter safe is reasonable and necessary.  If their choices are transferring your daughter to a different school or facing a lawsuit over your child's injuries  that come from them not stopping the violence that you report, they may think that a transfer seems reasonable.  Keep in mind that MCPS has a heavy hitting legal team and is more than happy to engage in litigation as I've heard from parents of special needs kids.  Perhaps you could threaten media attention.  I would report it to the school and see what they recommend to protect your daughter.  If they can solve the problem - great.  If they can't here's the link for Change Of School Assignment  (COSA).

http://www.montgomeryschoolsmd.org/info/transfers/

Perhaps they could be persuaded that your daughter's case qualified as "documented, unique hardship".  The good news is we're coming up on the season for the request.  The bad news is I think it's supposed to go into affect the following school year.  This may be a case where reason confronts policy.

Also, you will note that the page specifically says the family is responsible for transportation to the new school in such cases.  You may be stuck.  On the other hand, keep in mind that every school has transportation to a magnet program.  I am not suggesting that they would put your child in the magnet program, but you might be able to argue for them providing transportation to the magnet school where your kid could be in the regular program.  After all, magnet kids need the magnet because it's the only way for them to get an appropriate education  (one with adequate challenge).  Your child may need the school if it's the only way for her to get an appropriate education  (one without physical assault).  This would fall under the realm of reasonable arrangement.  I wouldn't expect them to change their official policy.

Such a path would mean that depending on where you live your kid might be bussed across the county and would be the only non magnet rider on the magnet bus.  (There  may be kids going to multiple magnet schools sharing the bus, but they're all in the magnet programs).  While I doubt they would actively shun her, they wouldn't have the shared experience to bond over.  Also coming in at the middle of the year as a new kid, she would be an anomaly which might be hard for a sensitive, quiet child to overcome.

Switching schools is never easy under the best of circumstances, which this isn't.  If your local school can't fix the problem, which I hope they can,  I'd talk with your daughter before you do something as drastic as switching schools.  Ultimately, though, you have to do whatever it takes to keep your daughter safe.

Best of luck for both you and your daughter as you go through this.  My heart goes out to you.  [/quote]

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