Reply to Daughter got in a fight at school - how to help her defend herself next time?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]
To OP, I'm surprised no one has mentioned this earlier, but you do know that if your daughter defends herself, unfortunately, SHE could end up tangled in accusations that she's a bully as well, or that she assaulted someone. Should that happen? No, of course not. Could it happen? Yes. My friend's son was badly bullied physically over a long time, and wouldn't fight back; he eventually did fight back and ended up getting the same discipline for fighting as the boys who started it. I know the kids involved and know what happened, and the school's reaction was basically, "Everyone threw punches, everyone's at equal fault." That's how schools will handle this stuff.

It also sends your daughter a sad signal that she has to have self-defense classes just to exercise her basic right to attend school. If you really can picture your daughter embracing the idea of boxing lessons, go for it, but from what you describe here, it sounds as if she might balk at the idea. Does[i] she [/i]want to learn defense techniques or does the idea scare her even more or make her feel she'll become more of a target? Where is [i]she[/i], on this idea of martial arts or boxing lessons?

I'd take the energy and time you would spend on finding her lessons and spend it instead on hounding the school like hell, keeping documentation and being That Parent who is in their faces about dealing with this. I would absolutely tell the school that you are going to involve the police and charges, if another finger gets laid on her (and then have the guts to DO it if that happens). Take the money you'd spend on martial arts classes and put it aside in case you do get a lawyer. And at the same time, start looking at how to change schools if it comes to that -- you got solid advice on that, in posts above.
[/quote]

I like this idea. My daughter is on board with self defense classes but I warned her, it will take months or years of practice to get to a level where she can protect herself. And what if several kids attack her at once? The more I think about it, the less I like the idea. I will definitely involve the police the next time this happens. Thanks for this post.[/quote]

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