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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]
I am the OR of that post. I was awarded a full scholarship for grad school but no funds for living expenses. I took out high interest credit cards to supplement. It was stressful at the time. I asked my parents if they would be willing to give me an interest free loan. They had several hundred thousand dollars in bank but declined my request. I won't go into the details of what their rationale was, I will just say that money was not earmarked for anything and stayed in bank collecting interest. I made a note of their stinginess (at least in my eyes) and moved on. Plenty of similar situations with them and I still maintain a good relationship. They don't owe me anything as an adult, but the question is what do I owe them as adults? [/quote]

It all comes down to what you think family is.  I think family is a community where you care for one another, love each other, and support each other emotionally.  If your parents are destitute and unable to support themselves, I would certainly think that it is your responsibility to care for them.  They raised you.  They are family.

Personally, I don't see your parents' choice as stinginess, but I have a really strong feeling that adults should support themselves from my own experience of supporting myself, of which I am very proud.  If my son gets a full scholarship to graduate school, I would help him come up with a plan to work and save and budget for his living expenses during that time.  I would expect him to work to help fund his living expenses, and take out student loans for what he was not able to earn during school itself.  I would not offer him an interest-free loan so that he did not have to work or economize.

I don't think the fact that you experienced some mild financial stress during graduate school to be a reason to cut your parents off.  I'm not saying you have to support them financially - I have no idea what their situation is - but I hardly think that financial stress as an adult is a reason for you to cut them off.  [/quote]

You say adults have an obligation to take care of themselves. I agree. [b]Doesn't that apply to elderly parents?[/b] The PP to whom you're responding has parents who are able to support themselves. By your logic w/r/t the loan, she shouldn't dis incentivize their working and economizing either.

FWIW I would have offered PP an interest-bearing loan at a lower rate than the credit cards - maybe keyed to current mortgage rates- with a firm repayment schedule.[/quote]

Elderly parents usually CAN'T work, and often can't take care of themselves physically.  Even if they have been independent and functional for most of their adult lives, most elderly people cannot live independently forever.

Obviously, if they are able to work, and assuming they've been halfway fiscally responsible with those hundreds of thousands of dollars, they wouldn't need regular support from OP.  But if they're in their 80's or 90's and they've had a financial downturn and they need help, I can't possibly see the lack of an interest-free loan during grad school as an excuse to abandon them.[/quote]

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