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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Can someone give me specific examples of emotional labor? The only thing I can think of is supporting a relative who is going through difficult times for whatever reason. Postcards, elaborate dinners, laundry and shopping sound like physical tasks. I guess there's the planning component, but how emotional is a to-do list, really?[/quote]

Most emotional labor will manifest in some kind of physical component, but I think the key distinction is whether the labor in question is designed to address a social/emotional need or a base physical need.

Examples:
-Knowing that your child is having a hard time with X social dynamic at school, and actively working to address it
-Helping a child to deal with the emotional fall out from a medical condition
-Remembering milestone events and contacting people at those times to make them feel loved and connected.  Important for 'fun' events but especially for the anniversary of difficult times (deaths, etc.)
-Showing up to support someone going through a rough time, whatever the cause

And to be honest, if you broaden your 'only thing' to include friends as well as family it's actually a big, big thing.  A family member is ill and I will be going there soon to provide support - this is one type of emotional labor.  So is answering the phone and being there for my Mom as she processes her emotions about this illness as well as the recent deaths of some of her friends. So is showing up at your friends house with a bottle of wine and 2 hours to help them pack during a move.  Or keeping a friends child overnight so they can get a much needed break. Or cutting out from work to meet a friend for coffee who just got dumped. Or dropping off a bottle of Advil so your friend doesn't have to take her sick kids to the store. Or arranging the Food Train so the new parents don't have to worry about meals for 2 weeks. Listening to your spouse comment about how much they would like X and then surprising them with it, even if X is a $1 pack of gum. Etc. Etc.

Emotional labor is the mental work of storing enough information about these people to know these efforts are needed - investing your time and energy in building the relationship. It is providing the social glue that creates community.[/quote]

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