Reply to People with spouses who have cheated (and then you stuck together)

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]People who had spouses who cheated in the past:

1) do you really ever trust them again?
2) do you wish you'd just divorced when it happened?
3) is your marriage better now?
4) anything else with your 20/20 vision from the future?

FWIW, we are a year out from the end of the affair.[/quote]

1. No-- and for that matter, it taught me not to trust a lot of people.
2. Yes and no. 
3. On balance, yes
4. if you make the decision to stay married, then work on your marriage. Be honest with yourself about who your DH is- does he have other problems? What are his good qualities. My DH's infidelity helped me admit that he has some problems connecting with other people--he's also an amazing father and a good person in important ways. Also 20/20-- the *only* reason I didn't leave is because DH was 100% remorseful. Contacted the other woman when I found out and broke it off. [/b]Allowed me access to his passwords and accounts-- and makes sure that I know where he's going to be when he travels[b].

If your DH acts at all shady or tries to make it seem like marital problems drove him to it-- dump him, he'll do it again. [/quote]

Gave you access to his accounts.  I know this is what every book/ therapist recommends but in the end it's not a guarantee. My cheating POS ex DW had set up another account that she never admitted to.  Talk about a lesson in human nature.

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