Reply to OW how do you feel knowing he will never leave her for you?

Forum Index » Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)

Reply to "OW how do you feel knowing he will never leave her for you?"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]All of this is sad.  I get the OP's bitterness because my husband had a mistress for around nine months.  I definitely do not like her and think she is not morally upstanding.  She is married with three kids.  I have not outed her, even though she is a raging hypocrite who is very involved in church and claims to be this amazing mom (who "worked" overnights with my husband for months, but somehow she is mother of the year).  I haven't outed her because I just cannot deal with one more bit of hell from this and I need to try to put it behind me.  So, I have bitterness, obviously, and it is unfair that I am the one suffering while she just glides along without having to deal with the wreckage she and my husband caused.  So, I completely understand where the OP is coming from.

BUT, OP seems like she is trying to prop herself up by putting this other woman down.  Not that I'm against putting the OW down, but that won't make OP feel better.  Best thing is to try to get past it because life, unfortunately, is unfair and hating the OW won't make OP move on.

I also don't seem to get the people who out everything on the cheating spouse and not the other person.  Believe me, I blame my husband and what he has done is utterly terrible.  But why does that let the other woman off the hook?  It takes two to tango, as they say, and while she did not say vows to me, there is a basic social contract that you should respect socially founded boundaries.[/quote]

I see this from another perspective. I have 3 good friends that were OW. They are all very damaged and sad people on the inside. I am friends with them because they are also sometime awesome friends. Nobody is perfect. I don't forgive them for the pain they have caused themself, their husbands and their children but I have empathy.

Your bitterness will slowly wash away if you look at the person with compassion (not pity) and realize that you were given something when you were created, raised, etc that this person did not get.

They fool themselves, lie to themselves and say... "but I have this under control", "I can walk away any time", "this is just for fun" ... but it is no different than being an addict, trying to self medicate the awful away.

Just thank god (or whoever) you have all the tools to be who you are ... and don't worry about who she is. I have seen it a million times... (just 3 friends, but more that are not friends).... the cards come crumbling down and it is not pretty.[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics