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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Here's what I think happened. There's clearly some back story/bad blood--why else would this be the first Christmas invite in 15 years?

MIL genuinely wanted to move forward enough to extend the invite and ask about pregnancy dietary restrictions. DIL comes back with a long list--she's a very careful pregnant woman, but it simply genuinely following all the "rules."

MIL takes a look at that list and decides DIL is being a diva/decides that "all this stuff was fine when *I* was pregnant, so it's fine now," and--reverting to bad blood/pettiness--designed the menu as a bit of an "F U."

DIL--who was genuintely just trying to have a healthy pregnancy--rightfully feels slighted.

[b]I, personally, hate how dismissive the older generation is of modern-day pregnancy/childcare guidelines.
*I* ate deli meat and it was FINE!
*I* formula fed, and it was FINE!
*I* put baby to sleep on his back, and it was FINE![/b]

But I also recognize that it is a common--and certainly not personal--dynamic. But I do think MIL took it as an affront, and resorted to the previous complex dynamic.

OP, ignore the slight, and do your best to just be unfailingly cordial and polite going forward. Kill her with kindness. DH sounds on board to help set boundaries where truly needed--that is a GREAT thing![/quote]

:roll:

I roll my eyes at you, pp.

The older generation is right -- these things are ALL FINE.

We're totally fucking up parenting with our hysteria and our perfectionism and our hovering.

Formula is a fucking miracle -- it's GREAT. Deli meat is FINE. And of course it's fine to put a baby to sleep on its back.

Have some goddamned respect for your elders [i]who are wiser than you.[/i]
[/quote]

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