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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][b]I used to bend over backwards to forgive them until I had kids.[/b] Now, I have to protect my kids from erratic behavior. I'm also much more furious now that I'm a parent because I know just how terrible their parenting really was. It's amazing that I survived to give them grandkids in the first place.

Forgive if you must. Hold a grudge if necessary. Protect your kids at all costs.

It's O.K. to be angry. It may get better as the kids grow older. For me personally, it's worse.

As for "other people," my parents are none of their business. If they're old friends, they know and understand why I'm estranged. New friends aren't that interested, so it never comes up.  On the rare occasion that people ask, I say something generic, change the subject back to the speaker and listen. It's a formula that always works.

Good luck. [/quote]

My feelings for my mother have changed since having kids. My father was abusive, and I used to view her as a victim. But now, I have a hard time understanding her loyalty to him. [/quote]

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