Reply to I'm 43 with no kids, but want 1.

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]The worst that could happen? There are lots of worsts, and you will never have children with anyone, even a committed spouse, if you decide on "worsts."

The worst likely to happen? One of you wants to move far away for a job or new partner and the child loses a parent. OR, one of you finds someone you want to marry, and the new family unit takes one of you away from the child.[/quote]

I think this is spot-on.

I'd add that there's potential for you and your friend to have a falling out or discover that you have drastically different parenting styles and end up in an ugly custody battle.  Or one of you loses a job and cannot provide financial support anymore and the other starts getting resentful.  But those are things that happen with married couples.

In my opinion, you should both talk to a therapist (together) and a lawyer (separately) before you decide to do this.  If you ultimately feel that you're not prepared to co-parent with your friend, an anonymous sperm donor may be the right option for you.[/quote]

I agree with all this.  You should talk through in advance what you would do if genetic testing shows possible special needs, what you would do if the child has special needs, what your parenting philosophies are, what religion the child would be raised, etc., etc.  Co-parenting is super tough.  No couple is perfect, but you want to make sure you've thought it all through.

Also, my mom had me at 43 -- naturally and with no adverse consequences.  But it is not typical.[/quote]

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