Reply to Is it Fair to Say That Both Parties Are to Blame in the Demise of a Marriage?

Forum Index » Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)

Reply to "Is it Fair to Say That Both Parties Are to Blame in the Demise of a Marriage? "

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Both parties are to blame, but in my mind, not exactly for the reasons everyone else has listed.

It takes two to run a marriage. Yes, there are cheaters who just do it for the thrill. That being said, there are also the inside partners who freeze out a marriage, which to me is just as bad as cheating, for their own reasons/ ends.

I'm not here to pass judgement, or pick sides, or any of it. I wasn't in the relationship or did I see what went on behind closed doors. I know plenty of "victims" who have chosen that path, thinking it will gain them maximum hand in the end.

If you end a marriage because your partner cheated, then you are not a victim. You escaped a bullet. But you don't get extra pats on the head for doing what is best for you. That's your choice. I've had friends leave, some stay. These are life choices that affect no ones other than you.  And there's no extra bones for the victim in that situation, regardless of outcome.

[b]Now, I don't think this way in terms of abuse[/b]. That's the one place where sides are fair, warranted, and preferential. [/quote]

Adultery is abuse.  Weird that you would think otherwise...[/quote]

And I think it is weird and disturbing that you equate the two.[/quote]

I don't think you understand affairs if you don't understand all the other things that go on to enable an affair. Read 15:04's story there was so much lying, deceit, double life, manipulation, gas lighting, etc that went on to make the affair possible.

That is clearly the definition of abuse.[/quote]

It's not a competition of suffering. There is, however, a big difference between a spouse who secretly sleeps with his personal trainer and a spouse who secretly beats his wife. The story 15:04 tells is terrible, but it is still a different than the story from a while back of the woman whose spouse hit her in front of her kids who felt that she couldn't leave because she was trapped without options.

It's not the same. Both are bad. They are not the same bad. [/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics