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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Yes, he is taking advantage of you.  No, the 25/75 split is not fair.

Sell it, OP.  Sell it ASAP.  Sell it before you get in some kind of huge legal trouble for things your father should not be doing in the clinic.

Sell it to disentangle yourself from a toxic person who does not have your best interest at heart.

Sell it to give yourself peace and space to earn honest money for your own family.

I would sell it and give him whatever you think is fair.  Honestly, for what he has essentially stolen from you all this time, I think NOTHING is fair.  But give him whatever will give you peace.  If it gives you peace to give him 100% and be free of this, give that to him.

Don't expect him to be happy with whatever you give him.  If you give him 100%, he will still be mad at you for selling his cash cow.  YOU CAN NEVER MAKE HIM HAPPY.  He will always blame his unhappiness on you.

It is not your fault.  IT IS NOT YOUR FAULT.

Please let yourself be free of this terrible, toxic situation and free of as much contact with your dad as possible.  If you can get out of this deal without losing more time and any money, you will be well free of it at ANY price.[/quote]

Thank you so much, I am honestly sitting here crying at your insight and kindness, thank you. [/quote]

You're welcome, OP.  I get it, I really do.  You are smart and capable and have developed so many excellent skills to survive.  But part of you is that little girl who still desperately wants a happy family, wants her dad to approve of her and love her.

The thing is that you have the potential to have a happy, safe, secure family - with the good man you married and the children you have created, who need safety and trust as much as you did.  And having your dad have so much of a hold on your life is not good for you at all, and it's endangering your own self-created family, too.  So even if you're not ready to let go of the dream of your dad loving you and approving of you (yet) for your own sake, you have to work really hard on letting go of it for the sake of your children.

What your dad has entangled you in could be really dangerous for you -- there could be lawsuits, malpractice, IRS issues -- all kinds of things that could cause financial ruin, cause you to be mentally and emotionally absent from your husband and kids, and at worst even result in jail time.  And I think you know that someone as capable as you and accomplished as you would not only know this intellectually but also run at high speed away from this deal, were it not for how complicated your feelings for your dad are, and how painful it all still is for you.

It's going to take a long time for the little girl in you to truly understand and believe that IT'S NOT YOUR FAULT and that YOU CAN NEVER MAKE HIM HAPPY.  You can't.   Unfortunately, he has made you his scapegoat, and he is an effective manipulator who can still push your buttons.  But that little girl is only one part of you.  There's also the strong, capable woman in you.  And even though you'll need to work though all of this with a good, supportive therapist, you can't wait to feel better about all of it.  You have to act now to protect your family and yourself.  And that's where the strong woman in you is going to step up.

you can do this![/quote]

Thank you so much, I wish I could hug you right now. I am calling the accountant now to get the profit and loss statements over to the potential buyers to try and wrap this up as quickly as I can. [/quote]

Sending a virtual hug.  Good for you for making a move on this and wrapping it up as quickly as possible!!!  Once you're off the phone with the accountant, I'd seriously make an appointment with a therapist.  You are doing the RIGHT THING and you are taking good care of yourself.  But you're about to face a shitstorm from your dad.  It would be easy for me to say to just block him on your phone or something, but it doesn't sound like you are ready to take that kind of step right now.  You'll need some help in managing some good boundaries with him and protecting yourself from the inevitable attempts to manipulate you and guilt you into thinking you are responsible for him.

(Seriously, it sounds like your dad is someone who is going to land on his two feet no matter what.  He'll find someone else to swindle, he'll survive.  He definitely has skills.  He's just taken the easy way lately because you are a soft mark for him.  His financial situation is not your responsibility aside from the fact that you have been responsible for gifting him some easy money lately.  He's an adult and you are not responsible for his stupid decisions in the past, nor can you fix his future.   The thicker the emotional wall you can build to protect yourself from him, the better.  That means really practical stuff, like answering calls from him only one night a week or things like that, so that you can mentally tell yourself, "I'm free from any contact with Dad today" as often as possible.  A therapist can help you with that!)

Wishing you luck.  You can do this.  Keep coming back for support as needed![/quote]

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