Reply to We stopped exchanging gifts and I love it!

Forum Index » Family Relationships

Reply to "We stopped exchanging gifts and I love it! "

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP, you can *suggest* this approach to your husband's family, but why do you feel the need to *convince* them that it's the way to go? Great that it works for your family, but that approach is not right for every family.

Don't try to come in as "an outsider" and dictate their holiday. Suggest once, and if they like the idea, great! If they don't, fine![/quote]

OP here, my husband agrees with me. Of course we will look look the bad guys but we need to stop the nonsense. Our kids are older and want for nothing. We do not even see them. It really is exchanging gift cards. [/quote]

It's not for you to "stop the nonsense." It may be nonsense TO YOU and it may be nonsense to YOUR HUSBAND, but that doesn't make it nonsense to his entire family. How self-absorbed and myopic can you be?!

*You are the outsider.* You do not get to dictate their holiday. Your *husband* can SUGGEST it to them. You two, together, can even announce, "Hey family, we get stressed by gifts, and will no longer be giving them. If you want to give to us, please make a donation to your favorite charity in our names." But you DO NOT get to dictate that someone else's family stop giving holiday gifts. [/quote]

NP here.  If you have a big family who all enjoy gift giving and it's a big jolly occasion and all the gifts are thoughtful and delight abounds, then yes, I agree with you.  That is not what most people are talking about.  We're talking about grown adults who are clinging to the tradition of exchanging gifts by all, to a person, just getting each other gift cards.  A gift card is not a thoughtful gift.  It is money, and not even as good as money.  It is straight up nonsense.

[/quote]

It is straight up nonsense TO YOU. That doesn't make it nonsense to everyone else. Do you get it?[/quote]

Oh, I completely get it.  I'm sure you think all the recipients of your gift cards think they're really thoughtful gifts.  (Hint:  they don't.)[/quote]

Sorry, no, I don't give gift cards. My family does a name draw for adults and presents for young kids. I'm getting my sister nice cheeses, which she will love as she has a cheese blog.

My husband's family, however, does exchange gifts, even though I would prefer not to. But I don't get to dictate what their family does, so here's what we got them:
MIL/FIL--Tickets to a show at the Kennedy Center that we know they want to see
DH's aunt--a cashmere shawl to wear during her chemo treatments, as she gets cold and uncomfortable. It's bluish-purple, her favorite color.
DH's cousin--an interview suit, as he will be a December grad (DH already took him out shopping for it)
SIL and her wife--multiple items from their baby registry, and a week of food delivery service (they live in CA and are expecting their first)

Yeah, we feel pretty confident they'll like those gifts.
[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics