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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]This is not a usual dinner party, this is Thanksgiving and I get the feeling that attendance is expected.  All you people calling this rude are treating this as if it non-attendance is an option and OP is happy to be attending.

If it were me, I would stop going to their Thanksgiving, regardless of whether I could go to my family's or only attend every other year.  You could say you are alternating with your family's traditions for the benefit of your children since they are not interested in incorporating anything from your family's traditions into theirs.  They are clearly shut down to trying anything beyond what they know or being gracious in any form.

I find that people this rigid generally are crap cooks in any event, the failure to appreciate red wine kind of locks that down.

[/quote]

+1.  For a normal dinner party, I wouldn't expect to bring my own dishes to be served.  This isn't every day, it's a holiday that has lots of meaning and tradition for lots of people.  MIL sounds very unpleasant or selfish or something to not recognize that maybe your family traditions could be included at least as an option.  We're visiting friends for the holiday and the first thing my friend said was "let me know if there's any special 'must have' for Thanksgiving that I can make or that you want to bring."    I agree that I'd confer with DH and either have him stand up to MIL or just let them know that next year you won't be there.[/quote]

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