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[quote=Anonymous]Are you telling us that you are already given DS2 40k for each of his kids via that trust or that you've set up that trust for future use by his kids?

If you are giving them 80k and they still can't make it work, they have big big issues.

How does your support of DS2 actually work? If they work sporadically, do they just forward you the bills that come from the electric company every month, or do you give them a lump sum, or is there in fact that 80k trust payout?

Honestly even if you can afford it, I wouldn't buy him a condo just now. You're in your early 60s, and he's in his 30s -- this is really the LAST time he can make something of himself while still having his mama's safety net to catch him. The same way most normal adults encourage their kids to take challenging classes and try out internships at ages 18-22 bc if something doesn't work out, it isn't a catastrophic failure. For a 30+ yr old man to have no resume (or the woman to have some retail work) is freaking odd. Do you think it'll get better or easier for him? If he can't get hired now, you think his 40s or 50s will be better?

I'd sit him down and say you've helped a lot and you're not saying you won't help, but any help is contingent on him developing a CAREER - not just a job - in the next 3 yrs. I assume he's graduated college? He can take training courses and get into coding -- lots of career switchers there. He can go to community college to become some kind of healthcare tech. He can go to trade school for anything from electronic to plumbing.

Point is - in order for him to RECEIVE any help from you, he best be on a path that will lead to a solid salary and benefits by 2018. THEN if you think his salary doesn't cover the lifestyle that you and daddy JD think he should be living, THEN you will supplement for the "finer" things.

I bet you won't even consider this bc you are afraid of being "cut off" -- bc if you tell him you're not helping him until further notice, he and the DIL may not want as much to do with you. Parenting is hard . . . .[/quote]

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