Reply to Is it okay to reveal an SO's secret to a loved one?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]For those of you saying it's not my business, why do you feel that way?
[/quote]

Why do you feel it is your business? Your loved one may very well already know this secret, and what you want to reveal may not necessarily be true. It sounds like you are passing along gossip you heard from someone else, not something you have first-hand knowledge of. What if you're wrong? [/quote]

Because I care about my LO they are  good people, but somewhat naive int the matters of the heart. Because my LO is very successful and in a position that attracts users. Because this information could impact them socially. 
Because they barely know this person, and I don't trust this person has  the best intentions.
I don't know about you but I don't like to see those I care about being taken advantage of.

It's not gossip, maybe started off that way, but I've seen the evidence myself. It's a fact.[/quote]

Look, OP. I think a lot depends on what kind of sex work we're talking about. If your friend's girlfriend used to be a stripper, and you know this because someone you trust saw her dance and told you, I think that's not really something that you need to share. If your friend's girlfriend used to be a prostitute/escort, and you know this because someone you trust saw her doing that (or patronized her) and told you, I can see why you would think it's relevant and that you'd want to know if it was you. But it's not you. It's your friend, who is an adult.

Why are you so protective of your wealthy but naive friend? Do you think this would bother him, if he found out? How will you respond if the situation ends up being very different than you thought (sex worker actually a victim of trafficking, etc.)? Are you prepared to lose your friendship over this issue?[/quote]

SO did porn I discovered this through someone I trust, it is also likely they were involved in "escorting" . These are things you'd want to know right?
[b]Hadn't considered the trafficking angle, but how likely is that?[/b]
I don't think my LO would knowingly date someone like that.
[/quote]

On the one side:
As someone who has worked in this advocacy field, I would say that many sex workers are coerced. There is a documentary called "Hot Girls Wanted" that details the experiences of several webcam girls. Even the ones who are excited about what they're doing are being used. It's entirely possible that your friend's girlfriend has left that life behind and is trying to start over. Your telling her boyfriend about this may do lasting damage, cause her to go back to her previous life, etc.

On the other side: 
I know a few people who have worked as strippers who are not ashamed of this work. They don't feel that it makes them bad people or people who can't engage in relationships normally. One of them is also an elementary school teacher. The number of people I know who were exotic dancers while in law school or medical school would probably surprise you.

If you truly think that it's important, I would suggest that you talk to HER and see what the story is. Perhaps your friend already knows.[/quote]

Hmm now I'm a little torn SO has made a big deal about how great my LO is. I thought it was part of their game, but if it turns out SO is trying to turn life around and was coerced I'd feel a little bad about it, but  I still feel like my Lo should know either way.
Maybe the best thing to do is to speak to the SO?[/quote]

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